But I'm not Gay

I keep telling myself,as long as it is my wife making me suck her lover's cock I'm not gay. I do it because she asks me to and I always obey my wife, don't you. The problem is I've been thinking a lot about it lately and I find that I miss it when I don't blow him. In the shower I think about feeling his hardness slide between my lips and how much fun it is to tease that hard ring around his tip with my tongue. I've grown so use to the taste of his cum and how it feels like velvet sliding down my throat, that now I've been eating my own cum when I play with myself in the shower (please don't tell my wife what I do, I'm not allowed to abuse her dick). I wish I could cum as much as he does, I can hardly taste my little spurt.